For A Feline View of the world
	"CATS-EYE"
October 1999	The On-Line Magazine By Cats For Cats	Issue 2

CAT-NAP Freyja on...

Freyja on Fashion Well Darlings. I don't know about you, but I find this warm weather to be lovely to lie in but it plays havoc with my coat. Come preening time all it leaves is a nasty taste in your mouth and those loathsome furrballs. Luckily those of us in family homes have some advantage over our wild cousins when it comes to hair removal. These Tin Openers may be frustrating at times but they do have their uses. A closer examination of your home will reveal a wealth of items and materials that make this and other chores that little bit easier. I have listed a few here that are my favorites. Although a word of caution. It may be best to try some of these when alone as these tin openers do not always seem to appreciate the work us girls have to put in to keep looking beautiful. For loose hair removal: Top of my list comes velvet: Oh my! If ever there was a material purposely designed for hair removal this has to be it. Try to pick the opposing colour to your coat hairs as this gives the advantage of seeing just how much hair you have removed. If you're really lucky a tin opener will come along and clean it for you. So you can start again. I also find when tin openers put this on their legs rubbing yourself hard against them can really shift a lot of those stubborn hairs. Another useful trick (particularly in this heat) Is that tin openers appear to get damp and sticky paws in warmer weather. If you notice this, approach them and demand to be petted. It's amazing just how many hairs you can transfer to those cumbersome paws of theirs (Often from those quite difficult to reach places like the back of the neck). An added bonus to this is the visual amusement, as they try to remove the hair from themselves. Other good materials for this are: suede, draylon and heavy cotton. Some carpets and rugs are quite good as you can really roll over and work those back hairs out. Claw Sharpening: Personally I work this chore in stages. Although my tin openers seem to get the most upset about this one. Scratch Posts: These are ok I suppose and probably the wisest to use when the tin openers are around. Although personally I still think the back of a good armchair has a lot more scope to work on those blunted claws and strengthen those sheaths. I like to hang just by my front claws for a few moments to keep those paw and front leg muscles in trim. And the broad back of a chair or some sturdy curtains does this far better than any flimsy scratch post. Also they make them so narrow. How is a girl supposed to really work those front claws on a thin pole? When a good piece of carpet offers so much more scope in allowing you to tone up those shoulder muscles at the same time. I have also noticed Denim is rather good at taking off those rough edges (particularly after that humiliating act of Claw Clipping us House cats have to occasionally endure.) Although again, I have noticed that if you do use Denim, please make sure your tin opener isn't in it at the time, as the screams can hurt ones delicate ears. Finally for that really fine edge on your claws what could be better than Silk (No you bloody don't - Silk) That is the material not the cat. It is said that Death himself sharpens his scythe on silk, so that it can cut the air between words. I am not too sure about this (Or what a scythe is for that matter.) But I do know two things: One: Silk burnishes the claws to a fine edge, so that the points become almost needle like. Two: Tin Openers make a lot of noise when you use their best silk shirt for sharpening your claws. So if you do use it, make sure that they will never find out by hiding it somewhere safe, and have a good hiding place for yourself in case they do, (at least until they have cooled down.) Another tip for testing the perfection of your claws is the paper test. Those large Sunday Newspapers are just perfect. And the correctly sharpened claw should easily slice through half a dozen pages in one slice. On a really good day and if your Tin opener is holding the paper for you. You may even manage a whole section or supplement. The only problem here is it can take that edge off your claws if too many pages are tried at once. Also the Tin Openers, I don't know why, but they seem to get so upset about the silliest things. And shredding a dead and pulped tree on a Sunday Morning seems to be one of them. Why this is so, when they seem to be able to obtain the same thing every week, I haven't worked out yet, but that's tin openers for you. One last tip is for testing those reflexes. When your tin opener returns from their hunting trip. It's paws full with those goodies in sacks or boxes. Wait until they are halfway down the hall or up the drive and then see how many times you can dash between their legs before they reach the kitchen. You may have to be quick on your feet to miss that falling item. But it really tones those reflexes and leg muscles. I also think of it as an exercise for them. The poor souls are so clumsy and this one should go towards improving that appalling balance of theirs. (Although I think that in my case this may be a lost cause, as after three years of this, I have yet to see any improvement on their behalf. I do believe that they just don't try.) Until next time Girls. Freyja

PREV (CRITIQUE-CAT)	ISSUE 1 (Contents)	INDEX (Felidae Etc. Homepage)	ISSUE 2 (Contents)	NEXT (CLAW-CLIPPINGS)
GUEST-BOOK		RINGS	CONTACT US